Forgiveness - an extreme sport!

Narsingh Dev siting on the throne after killing Hriranyakashyap while Prahlad prays

Have you ever hated someone so bad that your veins could just burst any moment? Or maybe someone got on your nerves so bad that you just can’t stand them anymore? Or maybe you had a meeting, or a conversation that didn’t go well? 

Well, I used to hate my extended paternal family to the guts. For they got the better of us during the ancestral property split a few years back. I carried that baggage all these years. However, with time I have accepted to live with it and tried to move on. 

Let me share two fascinating stories from our ancient past and another two from the corporate world that I suppose will present a strong case to address the matter at hand. 

During satyuga, great sage Valmiki in Ramayana tells us about the time of Ayodhya in Kosala kingdom when lord Rama returned home after defeating Ravana. He was crowned the king again after 14 years but this came at a cost. His duty towards his throne put him in a spot to outlaw his own wife Sita. She was made to go through a lot of Agniparishkas (challenges by fire) to prove her purity as she was held captive by demonic Ravana in Lanka. But nothing seemed to have satiated the doubtful masses. She finally left for the forest and was only found years later when her kids -Luv and Kush- won a challenge Ashwamedha yagya. It is said that after meeting Rama she left for the supreme abode with such a gracious smile and without an iota of grief or blame. Only forgiveness. She forgave everyone even after such harsh humiliations and injustice done to her. Such is a tale of a magnanimous legend princess from our long gone past. 

 

Another ancient scripture "Srimad bhagwatam" (18-volume treatise that details the lives of various incarnations of lord Vishnu like Krishna, Upendra, Chaitanya, etc.) mentions about a cruel demonic king named Hriranyakashyap (HK). He became immensely powerful after receiving envious blessing from lord Brahma - Neither a man could kill me, nor an animal. Neither a male, nor a female. Neither on land, nor on water. Neither in air nor in fire, and such. With power came ego. He accepted no authority to be superior and mandated everyone to pray to him only. However, his pious son Prahlad was a staunch Vishnu devotee who found god everywhere. HK forbade Prahlad to pray but he being a true devotee never paid heed to such materialistic subjugations. To his chagrin, Prahlad continued praying and chanting the name of Krishna. This agonized HK to such an extent that he tried to kill Prahlad on multiple occasions. Only to be saved by god every time. Once he was thrown off a cliff but came back the next day. He was made to sit in fire on Holika’s lap (HK’s sister - who was immortal in fire). The process ended with the life of holika and day is still celebrated to this day (Holika Dahen) by burning chaff a night before Holi. 

Once Prahlad started chanting and singing in the courtyard full of fellow demon kings. 

The frustrated HK interrogated Prahlad “Show me your god”. 

“He is everywhere, father”, came the reply. 

“Is your god even present in this pillar?”, barked HK.

Prahlad quipped, “Obviously”. 

HK smashed the pillar with his bulky muscles in sheer display of power. To his astonishment came out a fierce, dreadful Narsingh Dev (Lion-headed Vishnu incarnation) with a thundering roar. The next moment HK was lying dead on god's lap with the rib cage shattered and intestine out around Vishnu's neck. This annihilation of demons shook the whole kingdom. 

Even to this, Prahlad requested God, “Hey Prabhu (lord), please forgive my father as he went momentarily astray”.

The god calmed down and said “My beloved Prahlad, your father was already blessed else he wouldn’t have had a devout child like yourself”.

Prahlad, as large-Hearted he was, forgave his demonic father even after those murderous attempts and prayed to god for his well being in subsequent births. 

The legend is carved in many remaining temples across India, Pakistan and Bangladesh where once Hindus lived

Coming to present day business India, a leading Indian wire and electronics manufacturer - Havells' late founder Qimat Rai Gupta (QRG) - discussed at length in his Autobiography about how he always settled matters over a glass of Lassi than a courtroom. Be it the departure of an English CEO, separation of parental brothers or even cutting a profitable chunk of his business to the elder son, Ajeet. His idea was simple - To forgive but never break ties, for it is the easiest thing to do. This resulted in Ajeet visiting QRG with his family even after years of separation until QRG’s death in 2014. Ajeet even sought dad's help in search of a groom for his daughter. Such a patient forgiving character of QRG must have required a deeper understanding that peace of mind is far more important than just winning every little fight.

Another fascinating story is of a legendary founder and CEO of Southwest Airlines - Herb Kelleher. At age 61, he got into a multi-year lawsuit with Stevens Airlines over a copyright claim of slogan “Just plane smart ”. He knew he was on the wrong side. The genius, is his atypical way, decided to settle it over an arm wrestling match with his young adversary - Kurt Herwald. The public stunt dubbed “Malice in Dallas” helped Herb save over $500,000 in legal fees and get a free mega marketing by every news channel in Texas. This is how Herb converted a precarious situation into a profitable one by forgiving his competition. He let off his ego which was the cause of litigation for years. This unique act garnered more respect and admiration from his colleagues & competition alike. 

Hope this kinder some acceptance and bring some inner peace. This rare trait of forgiveness is extremely difficult to inculcate in this world of ever shortening attention spans. This is leading us to act and act fast. Thus, causing impatience. Impatience further leads to making dumb decisions which, eventually, ends up in mental agony. 

Perhaps, we need to learn a lesson or two from such candid stories to forgive and not keep baggage of the past. It frees one's mind to new possibilities and outcomes.  

Do share your thoughts.